I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder when I was 23 years old. It was a confusing time in my life, and the lowest point I’ve ever been.
To combine the diagnosis, I also struggled with postpartum depression as a result of my second child, and I had no one I could confide in. I had never felt so alone. As a consequence, I had never felt more disconnected from myself. I truly did not like who I was. This continued for the majority of a decade.
I found myself turning 30 and having no idea who I was. I had to learn how to take care of myself. Who is Lanita Johnston? I didn’t know. I had to discover who I was. My passions, my values, what truly makes me tick. That’s when I found what it means to be truly well.
Wellness is broken down into categories: spiritual, emotional, social, and physical. Only when you balance all of the categories of wellness will you truly be at peace with yourself.
I titled this blog Caffeine and Calamity because that is what I live on. The mood swings that come with BPD include depression and mania. When I’m depressed, I find myself relying on an excessive amount of coffee to get me through it. Which leaves mania, or calamity, which is my favorite mood swing of all. Thus, the two crutches of my life.
I created this blog for anyone who feels the same way. This is a safe space for everyone who feels alone, alienated, and rejected. All the misfits. Regardless of whatever journey you’re on, whether it’s mental illness, a personality disorder like I have, or need a no-judgement space, welcome to Caffeine and Calamity.
Lanita Johnston
Lanita is the mother of two brilliant and creative daughters. Writer, reader, philosopher, poet, and gamer. Coffee and books are her love languages. Diagnosed with BPD nearly a decade ago, she has worked to turn it from a diagnosis into the ultimate adventure. It is with this unique insight that she colors her blog and every day of her life.