Break Free. Why You Should Prioritize Yourself

Have you ever been stuck in a rut and you feel like you just can’t get out? Are you staying constantly exhausted? Have brain fog? Lack of motivation? I have truly been struggling for the last two weeks. It started off as a little bit of a down feeling, and I thought nothing of it at first because I have mood swings, and depression is a place my mood tends to swing to from time to time. I tend to bite off a bit more than I can chew at times and I overload myself so much that I stress out and get to a breaking point. I figured I would cut back on some things and not cram my schedule so full that I can’t cope. I tried that.

It didn’t work. It became so bad that I would just randomly cry, no matter where I was. Whether it was in the store, or in the car with my kids in the backseat, the waterworks would just turn on and it took a little bit of time to get them to stop.

Now, I’m not one to mask my feelings around my kids because that would make me a hypocrite. After all, I’ve spent the last eleven years teaching that feelings are okay, no matter what they are. So I’m not one to put on a brave face for the sake of anybody. If I’m going through a tough time, I let my kids know. Not so they feel like they’re responsible for cheering me up, no. It’s so when they go through a tough time, they will know it’s okay to talk about it, too. Even if they’re thirty years old with kids of their own. Because, despite what society thinks and what everyone seems to tell everyone else, feelings are okay. Not just the happy feelings, either. All feelings. They are what make us human.

I decided yesterday that the only thing I can do to get myself out of this funk is to take a break. From everything and everyone outside of my immediate family. I’ve had my phone on “do not disturb” for the last few days, and I let a couple of close friends know that I’m taking a break. I logged out of all of my social media and silenced everything. With the exception of this post automatically posting on my blog’s social media page, I don’t plan on being logged back in for a long time. Maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months. Not until I feel right again.

A total reset.

Priorities. I’m focusing on myself, my family, and my work, including my small business. This morning, I went to the gym for the first time in about a week, and I gave it all I had. I mean, I worked out until I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to walk tomorrow, and then a little extra. I’ve ate all of the things I’ve wanted to in the past few days, and I’ve been patient with myself. Because I deserve it.

The outside world, as painted by social media and the news, can be so ugly sometimes. People can be so unkind to one another and I’m pretty sure seeing my social media just completely saturated in hatefulness on a daily basis was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. I cannot take anymore negative energy this week, and I certainly cannot act like everything is cool for another second when it is, in fact, the complete opposite of cool.

It isn’t just the news and the negativity of social media in my face. It’s all of the ads, all of the pressure. Try this, buy this, this is better. Watch this, rate this, follow this. It becomes too much, and I know it can’t just be for me. The whole thing can be so overwhelming. And tiring.

I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted from all that I do on a daily basis, because I take on a lot of responsibility. I’m exhausted from being constantly available for everyone, and for not having the favor returned in most cases. Does it sound familiar to you? Do you constantly find yourself reaching out to people who don’t return the same energy? If so, here’s my proposal.

I propose that we take a break. Take a second and sit quietly. Think of a few people whom you would call in an emergency. Think of a few people who make you laugh, who truly make your days worthwhile, and who will be there for you no matter what. Anyone you can’t think of after five minutes, those are the people we’re tuning out for a bit. Social media? Log out. Notifications on silent. You and the people you love more than anything in the world for the next little bit. The amount of time is controlled only by you. Do you want a day away? A week? A month? Take it. Focus on you. Make yourself top priority.

Think of all of the things you want to make time for and do them. Do you want to write more? Start a show? Read a book? Take more time for your family? If you take all of the other shit away, the five minutes here and ten minutes there, there’s suddenly free time there.

I can tell you that there was at least an hour that I would spend scrolling mindlessly on social media because I loved watching the videos. Even if I met my goal of waking up early, I would waste the extra time I had by scrolling through. But I’ve been complaining that I haven’t had any time to get anything finished. I would like to exercise every day. I have cleaning goals I would like to accomplish. I scroll though, instead. On and off all day. And I engage with people who don’t match my energy. What I mean by not matching my energy is, I message back quick. I also message people nearly every day. There are days when, if I don’t message, these same people won’t send me anything.

I’m tired of feeling like I have to water myself down for people to accept me, too. If I catch myself falling into that, I immediately withdraw and regroup. I encourage you to do the same. You don’t owe anyone an explanation to prioritize yourself. It also isn’t your responsibility to make anyone comfortable, either. If they want a version of you that is less than, then they can go find someone who is less than.

Whew. What a post.

Bottom line: break free. Prioritize yourself.